The question was asked: “I’m a DIY bride but I feel very stretched out at this stage, what should I do?
As I was preparing for our wedding I had to learn the skill of delegation so fast! Truthfully, I was accustomed to handling life on my own. I have no issues team playing, but when it came to specific tasks – I wanted to handle them. Primarily because I had the vision in my mind on how I wanted the execution to be, and the horror of the vision being messed up was haunting me lol. It turns out that it’s really not as bad as it seems.
I employed the skill of delegation, not because I didn’t want to do anything but because I realized I definitely couldn’t do everything on my own. Here are some steps that helped me through the process and have also become life lessons I still apply. These life hacks may help you too.
Write The Plan
I’m very administrative in the way that I handle my life’s affairs, my husband is the EXTREME opposite – no wonder opposites attract lol. I was on Google Docs updating files and spreadsheets to helps us keep track of our plans. The beauty of Google Docs is that you can share and update in real time so everyone is able to see the changes as they happen once they’re on. If they’re not, then they can always check the last edited feature. Share the details with the head of your execution team, bring them into the vision and ensure that they are able to properly explain the vision to all members of the team.
Request Assistance
You should employ the assistance of your bride tribe and your hubby’s groom squad. Employ the help of your friends, family, coworkers – where applicable and pretty much anyone who is willing to provide you guys with assistance. There were elements of our wedding that were completely handled by us and other parts that were completely handled by our team. There were only two of us and plenty tasks to get done so we needed to ask for help. Remember, asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness.
Create A Team
Create a core team that will aid in giving you some more hands, feet, eyes and brains to get tasks done. Now I know everyone usually has their own opinions of what you should and shouldn’t do for your wedding, and there’s that saying that goes “Too many cooks spoil the broth” so be clear about your requirements; while at the same time being open to hearing out suggestions. On the flip side, my granny always used to tell me – “Shaquille, many hands make light work.” Or in other words, the more hands there are to the task, the more we can get done. Let go of your fears of people not doing exactly what you want. That only feeds the “need” to do it by yourself monster. Show and teach your team what you’d like and sell them your vision. It’s going to be okay.
Assign tasks to your team
Work on being clear about what you require each person on the team to do, as well as what you’d want the team leader to oversee. What are the key performance areas that the members should be executing? I’m sorry to make it sound like an organisation but in essence it is to some extent – we’re making someone’s dream come true!
Focus on what you can control
Trust me, many things will pop up along the journey towards your Matrimony Day – you will not be able to control all of what will happen. From now, try to start working on channeling your focus on what you can control, then pray and leave the rest to God and your team. Your day will be beautiful, so take a deep breath and let it manifest as such.
Essentially, the patience you develop at this stage of the game will definitely play a vital role in your life and marriage. The process will teach you to let go of your fears of your partner not getting it right and open up to teaching them what you do and don’t like. You’ll learn how to become teachable when it’s your partner’s turn to teach you a lesson. The process gives room for them to share ideas as well and not fear you as a bully. Once you master the art of losing the “I can do bad all by myself syndrome” you’ll see how much more enjoyable the journey can be.
Hope this helps but if you need more specs or a worksheet/checklist to help guide you along, send me an email so I can get that to your inbox ASAP.
XoXo
photo cred: rawpixel
‘Focus on what you can control’ was such good wisdom offered by Shaq in the midst of packing and moving our whole family across the seas. It became a mantra in the final days when it was either let go or lose your mind. Really helped with prioritising and getting things from work in progress to checked off the list. Good post and not just for people getting married.
Thank you my love!