Happy 2020 To You!

If you’re reading this, it means you’ve crossed over into another year. Welcome aboard! There are many reasons to celebrate and also many things to contemplate. A new year can bring with it, waves of emotion. There are many things to think about, goals to set and plans to make. It’s the best time for a fresh start right, or is it?

I too have fallen into the overzealous trap at the beginning of a new year. Making unrealistic plans that frizzle into nothingness within weeks and then enduring the stress that follows not meeting my “goals”. What I found is that unrealistic plans reap unrealistic results. You’ll be more out than in – burnt out, stressed out and out of it altogether, left feeling undefeated.

Over the years, I’ve felt my brain kick into overdrive in an effort to stay afloat in the wave of “New Year Resolutions” (or Goals, whatever floats your boat). But this year I’ve decided to swim against the tide of the norm.

Instead of primarily adding fresh things to “the list”, I revisited some desires of old to determine whether I still want to accomplish those things, or whether I should scrap them altogether. The person I was, say 5 years ago, isn’t who I am today – I’m now closer to 30 😂. But the essence of who I want to become and what I want to accomplish has shown a consistent trend throughout the years.

While going through this exercise, I realized I achieved feats I forgot about, but I’d been writing down, time and time again as things to be accomplished, even if worded differently. Now is a good time to have a laugh at me 😂. Because sis, I’ll tell you this, the hype will cause you to believe that you’ve been walking around the same mountain year after year with no real progress. When in fact, you’re out here doing the thing and gaining ground each day.

Yes, some are walking around the same mountain because they live only for the hype but aren’t committed to the work. But there are others who have not placed checks in boxes they have long achieved, because the focus has been on another part of the picture that “still needs work”. All the while, you have literally checked boxes in core areas. You haven’t even noticed or given yourself a well-deserved pat on the back because “well, it was good but not good enough”.

You are good enough – Period. The value and treasure of your existence are what matter. Anything you create, and any goal you set out to achieve, is an extension of you. It is not all of you. Your identity isn’t in how many goals you can accomplish in one month. And if you find that it is, then adjust your vision because you are MORE than, sis! There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to achieve and deliver excellence. But there is everything wrong with being your own harshest, untruthful and unrealistic critic, especially when you encounter roadblocks on the way. You are doing so much better than you’re allowing yourself to believe.

As the first month of 2020 comes to an end and this new year continues to unfold, work on giving yourself more credit. Add that to your list of goals 😌. I’m not talking about the gloating kind of credit. I’m referring to the kind of credit that fuels your engine to give of your best day after day.

The kind of credit that gives you permission to feel the warmth of achievement without immediately looking for the next thing to work on, to prove to yourself that you’re worthy. We stay so busy and engaged looking for the next thing, we don’t relish in moments enough. This year, take some time to absorb and treasure moments because once they’re gone, that’s it!

Take care of yourself, and always remember:

The chase after absolute perfection will rob you of today’s strength and treasures; and hijack tomorrow’s hope.

Shaquille Millar

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