I asked for you guys to submit some questions and/or topics you wanted to have covered here on the blog. Thanks so much for submitting your responses and be sure to keep ’em coming! One of the questions I received was – We’re engaged, what happens now? So either he popped the question or you guys made a mutual decision to get married and you’re wondering what next?
Inhale, Exhale & Repeat! Honestly, girl, you need to take a breath! I honestly wish I took a longer moment to pause and take it all in before all the crazy buzz started but I’d definitely say try not to jump into wedding planning immediately after your engagement. Take some time, say a week or two ( if you need longer then go for it) to savour the sweet moments for your proposal and engagement because before you know it, you’ll be walking down the aisle. Shortly after our engagement, Chris and I entered a local wedding competition which provided us a chance to win our dream wedding. We transitioned from the giddy headedness of our proposal smack dab into strategizing how we’d win the competition. By smack dab, I mean like a few days after the proposal lol – crazy right? Read more on our Journey to Forever I Do for all the deets.
Secondly, Decide on a Counselor for your Premarital Counseling. For us, it was a swift but smooth transition from engagement into planning and I think that’s because we started pre-marital counseling before we were engaged. You don’t have to start counseling before your engagement if you don’t want to, but we chose to, primarily because we knew where we were heading and felt comfortable starting the process even though there was no “formal” engagement just yet. The formalities did follow thereafter though but I’d say to start the discussion around who you’ll be going to and why. We opted to use an in-house counselor at our church because they knew our relationship inside out, watched it grow and contributed to our development in major ways as well. If you haven’t started pre-marital counseling as yet, I’d recommend checking your church or asking your parents, mentors or someone who positively impacts your relationship for recommendations on who you guys can talk to. Be sure to do your research and choose someone you both are comfortable opening up with. Those pre-marital sessions are so critical to building the journey you’re about to embark on.
Once you’ve started laying these fundamental foundations it’s okay to begin Getting into the intricacies of planning your big day. Our initial discussions started with tentative dates, colours, themes, wedding & reception vibe and of course what food we wanted to be served up because food is key, right? lol. From there we were able to collaborate and bring our ideas together. I specifically knew what kind of vibe I wanted and Chris generally knew what he wanted. We both knew what we didn’t want so that made the discussions easier on somewhat.
Schedule Pow-Wow meetings. Most of the factors which influenced our decisionmaking, whether on a date, colours, vibe, or food etc were primarily hashed out in our powwow sessions. Now, powwows don’t have to be extremely long and drawn out meetings, so you should have some kind of agenda outlining what you guys will talk about. Walk with samples, photos, discussion points etc which will aid the conversation and ensure it’s meaningful. Use these meetings to set deadlines and assign tasks as well.
Stay Praying! Listen, I know this is a new season and it’s easy to get swept away in the magic of it all but stay praying chica. Ensure you’re praying for your partner, praying for your marriage, praying for your wedding day and everything concerning your union. The devil is always busy, but he especially hates marriage the way God intended so stay on your guard and stay prayed up.
Finally, Remember the Vision is Marriage. Engagement period can become messy sometimes. There are decisions to be made, opinions from everyone coming in every direction and it gets a little tricky trying to navigate. Through it all, try your best to keep reminding yourself that the end goal is a happy and fulfilling marriage. A til death do us part marriage, so the frill and thrills will fade away once the day has passed but the union you’re building has to be built up on a firm foundation. Whatever comes your way during this season, keep reminding yourself that the vision is marriage!
So there you have it – answers to We’re Engaged, Now What?! If you’ve found these steps useful be sure to send me your feedback or leave any comments below. Thanks again for submitting your questions and be sure to keep em coming!